hard to quit the speed
i feel like such an idiot. i can't even quit my job properly. all because i didnt want them to get the impression that I want to quit, instead i told them the other main reason why i want to quit, which is that my dad is now asking for petrol money (no! I can't fucking drive! i didnt have the money and time in the past 5 years! and i'm not willing to spend money on bus tickets for just a 'part time' job, where i earn less than €400!). well, my boss suggested me to ask my dad how much he wants for petrol and he'd re-arrange my schedule.for fuck's sake, whatever, then.
they just don't want me to quit, cos i am FAST. i'm so good. so my quality just lays on my fucking speed, eh? verfluchte scheisse...
what does it remind me of? wait...ah yes! The Works! they loved me, too, because i was FAST. i can unload 6 full pallets in less than 5 hours. yes, they loved me, too. oh and before i forget, yes, i was FAST at making burgers at kfc, therefore - paula's the best at the burger station!
speed speed speed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all that i'm good for.
actually... working FAST is gradually making me crazy. it makes me sick. i can't help being this way.
i'm in a fucking hurry to live.
after all, what kind of challenges are these? Working FAST? - none.
just a way of shortening one's meaningless life.
i'm trying to prove to myself that i don't actually have to go back to the uk, in order to find the right job. i'm still trying to get into the largest book trade company here in germany: www.thalia.de
when will they finally respond and want me?
PS:
yes, i have disabled my email center. i'm sorry i cant keep up at the moment. things are going majorly wrong and no one would want to know what i really want to do at the moment and how i feel, although i've said it enough, haven't i.
excuse me i'm in a fucking hurry.
