Mudanity

I had a slight revelation yesterday, when a friend told me that my job didn't suit me. Not just that, it was not the right job. And she had said it in such a worrisome and honest way that I felt so touched. (Please note: this is without involving the editorial and copywriting work that I do enjoy.) What stresses me out is the job as the boss' babysitter, housewife and multi-tasking jobs in organisation. - They don't suit me. This basically means that I could never do any sort of secretary job. I'm not one of those women who can do multi-tasking. Unfortunately I won't ever be able to work as Pat Bateman's secretary. That's the only shame to it. People say I'm way too overqualified for this job, which I don't think so. A person who has studied English Lit isn't to be compared with someone who has done an apprenticeship as a salesman for instance. The salesman is better off, because he knows how to earn/get money. And that's all that matters.
What I did was: I studied what I am interested in, what I might be good at. I could never study or do something that's none of my interest, because I won't be able to pay attention. There would be no passion, life lust or creativity. I hate HATE working with some sort of system around me that involves manipulations, lying to people and anything else that's repetitive. So that's right - sales and marketing is not my type of work.
I deal with ideas and creativity. I need new things all the time. A job that's mundane is a life that's mundane. I can't have a mundane life, no matter how much money is gives.
But I feel guilty.
I have guilty conscience towards my parents. Whatever I'm going to earn in my life from now on won't ever make up the sum that I owe them.
And this makes me a loser. Sometimes I wish I was able to enter a profession that I'm not made for - a mundane profession.