You get on the train and sit in front of a couple that is holding hands and whispering sweet words. You try to look away, but they are everywhere. You see them in the windows and you see them when having your eyes closed.
No it's not jealousy.
You think of sweet nothings, but in fact they are important ideas that need to be passed on. You think of ways out, unconsciously, but you have hit the brakes way too soon. The ideas are a few more miles ahead.
No it's not giving up.
You take a walk to the playground and see happy faces on the climbing frame; smiling through their teeth. Parents chilling on the benches with a dog sleeping at their feet.
No it's not a loss.
You are home. Surrounded by four walls that aren't yours. Money in the pockets that are partly earned by yourself. Dancing the shit out in order to be rid of this feeling.
No it's not happiness.
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