Sonntag, 15. März 2009

Run, Paula, run

And it's Sunday again. The sun's supposed to be out today, which it did for about twenty minutes. It's grey outside now, which makes me even more tired than I already am. The tiredness comes from a dream that I had. I got lost in a huge building, which was (I suppose) a school. I was looking for a certain room, but could not find it. I spent most time running up and down the stairs without knowing where I was going. It was even too tiring for my mind to hold on to that school and all over the sudden it had changed to some sort of a villa. I had opened doors to other people's rooms and they were staring at me as if I was some kind of a robber. I kept running up the stairs as quickly as I could until I fell on my face. That was when I woke up with my heart beating so fast as if I had been physically running, not mentally. I had forced myself to open my eyes because I could not take it anymore. I have no idea what I was looking for, I don't remember. What bothers me is the fact that I was in such a hurry. Usually I'm always in a rush, but in the dream it felt more like a case of life and death.

The weird thing is, when I'm awake I seem to be quite chilled. I don't even want to think of doing something that needs to be done. But I know it is about time. Application forms in English need to be written, new photos need to be taken and a scholaship + other bursaries need to be applied for. But God, something needs to wake me up very badly.
I'm in need of a hug that awakes ancient feelings. Someone that says everything will be ok.

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